A Father's Powerful Words

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21 ESV)

It was the summer leading into my senior year of high school. After returning home from a few exciting weeks filled with leadership retreats and musical festivals at the Gorge, I received news that rocked my world and all those around me: our friend Luke had just been in a tragic car accident and had to be air-lifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle where he would spend hours in brain surgery attempting to save his young life. While there was much hope that he would make it through, we got the traumatizing word that the brain damage was too advanced and he would not make it. While this was an absolute life altering event that completely revolutionized how I viewed life, what took place a few days later had as dramatic of an impact.

A bunch of friends and I decided to put on a candlelight memorial service where we could share stories about our friend Luke. About 100 of our friends came and it was a great time. In the midst of this, as I was leading my friends in remembrance, I saw my parents' car from the corner of my eye enter the parking lot, followed quickly by Luke's parents. I stepped aside from the stories to go and welcome my parents. As I approached my parents, I could see there was a depth in their eyes that I had not noticed before. My dad approached with vigor and gave me a giant hug. Within the extended hug, he spoke these powerful words, "I Love You and I'm Proud of You. I believe in you."

While it may not seem like much, these words shifted me from boyhood to manhood. No longer was I just a boy that could go along in life, I became a man because my father confirmed in my an identity and acceptance that will forever be a launching pad in life.

As I think through this, it clearly reminds me of how powerful the words a father can have on their son. As Proverbs 18:21 says, our words have the power of either bringing life or death. And the power of a father's words to their children is exponentially greater.

In the Bible, there are a few cases where we see the One Eternal God who exists as three persons interact with one another, specifically God the Father and God Son, Jesus. One time was at the inauguration of Jesus' ministry at His baptism in Matthew 3:13-17. After Jesus is baptized by his cousin John, we get a glimpse of the Triune God at work, and notice the words that God the Father says to His son, "This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased." What did the Father just confirm in Jesus? His Identity!

Look at another time in Matthew 17 at the Transfiguration. Again, at a pivotal moment in Jesus' life and ministry, the Father shows up and speaks the same powerful words over Him, "This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased; listen to Him." Jesus' identity as a Son of God is once again confirmed, which you can imagine encourages and strengthens Jesus. It makes you wonder what Jesus prayers were like when He continually got away early in the morning to commune with His Father. I wouldn't be surprised that, as God the Son became Man, He need to be continually reminded of His identity.

Fathers, our words are powerful. What we say to our children matters, and it will put them on a path of either life or death. While our words do not determine their direction, it heavily influences it more than we can even imagine. I've talked with many people who have wrestled with painful words from their dads and it has drastically changed the course of their life for the bad. I can also point to instances where dad's have spoken words of life, love and acceptance which have laid a great foundation for the child.

As a father, I know I am not perfect and there will be times when my words will have the tendency to bring death rather than life. There is only One perfect Father, so I know I am in consistent need of Jesus' grace in my life. I also know there has only been one perfect Child, and my children are not Jesus. We are both in need of Jesus' grace and the work of the Spirit to empower us to speak words of life. When I fail, I know Jesus' love and forgiveness on the cross transcends all failures. When I do well, I know the Spirit is at work in my life and, as I submit to Him more, He will bring about more words of life than death. Regardless of speaking life or death, I know it's the work of Jesus through His Spirit that bring about true love, acceptance, forgiveness and identity.

Fathers, speak love. In our own areas of hurt, submit them to Jesus and allow Him to heal. Ultimately, God the Father's words are more powerful and fulfilling than any word I can ever say. Our job is to point them to Jesus. As Jeff Vanderstelt as said, "Parents, your job is to be a worship lead and lead them to worship the One True God: Jesus." He will confirm our identity in Him as loved and accepted children.