Dealing With The Loss of Our Unborn Baby

Before I begin this lengthy discourse, I must clarify the perspective from which I write. Many of you know me as Pastor Justin, but I am not writing from that perspective. Yes, I have the amazing privilege to serve Jesus in my gifting and passion to the local church, but this is not written as a “pastor.” I am writing this as an average 26 year old guy raised in the Northwest who loves his family dearly, likes to read as much as possible, and golf whenever I get the chance; there is truly nothing special about me except the Jesus that loves me. I also must say that this is an honest, open account of the events that took place in our lives recently. Too many times people sugar-coat trials and hardships because they don't want to portray a lack of faith or are just ashamed, as if their trials make them less worthy of a person. While we don't agree with this, we do believe that openness produces healing and we hope that the sharing of this story will produce hope in your life. There will be details and openness of our pain that we experienced as I share the story of how Darianne and I lost our baby.

The day started off like any other Monday does in our home: Darianne takes our international student to school while I stay and work from home as our son Judah watches TV (too much in my lovely wife's opinion) and plays with his toys. What many of you don't know is that at this point Darianne is about 12 weeks pregnant and that afternoon we have our check up to make sure everything is okay. The day before was a fantastic day with our church family celebrating the past 5 years of ministry and looking forward to some amazing things we could potentially have the honor of doing in the city by God's grace. This check up was a milestone in the pregnancy as we enter the second trimester and plan the publicly share the news (make it "Facebook Official" as some of our students joke).

We go into the doctor's office and check-in. As the doctor enters the room, he explains that he will be using this device that looks like an old tape player (think Home Alone recorder for those of you old enough to remember) to check the heart beat of the baby. The last time we did this with Judah it felt like it was forever to hear the heartbeat. I knew I had to be patient to hear this time as well, but the time kept passing without hearing any noise. The doctor tried to calm our nerves by saying the baby was just hiding from us, but by the look on his face I could tell there was concern. What turns into seconds of looking turns into minutes of looking with no luck. He then says we are going to go have an ultrasound to make sure everything is okay. We go into the ultrasound room where the doctor does a normal ultrasound. After minutes of looking there becomes more of a frantic look on the doctor's face as he then tells us he wants to do a vaginal ultrasound because this is the best way to see the baby's movement and heart beat. At this point Darianne and I are obviously extremely afraid and concerned. This is our baby we are talking about, not just some scientific experiment or fetus that we have no connection with; this is our BABY. And we can't find her heartbeat. The thing that is so basic to life seems to be eluding us. The doctor performs the second ultrasound and after a few more minutes of silent but frantic searching he tells us the the news we didn't want to hear: the baby doesn't have a heart beat. He also said that it looked like the placenta walls were deteriorating and that it looks like we had lost the baby. He scheduled another ultrasound on Wednesday to confirm his findings, and we leave completely bewildered.

Trying to be strong for Darianne, I didn't cry as we searched for the baby's heart beat but instead begged God in prayer. I believe God is a God of miracles and can do whatever He chooses to do, so I prayed extremely hard that the heart beat would start. As I was praying in the last ultrasound, I felt the Father tell me that my baby girl was in His arms now, and she was safe. She would not have to endure the pain of this world, and that He was going to take good care of her until I get to meet her. While that brings me great joy and comfort knowing this, it brings me to tears and sadness even now as I share this. Knowing my girl is taken care of is great reassurance, but the pain and hurt from knowing that I will not get to hold this baby in my arms kills me. I truly believe that the baby was a girl, and to know that on this side of eternity I will miss the chance to hold her in my arms as I rock her to sleep late at night, to see her become a beautiful little girl with all the ridiculous outfits my wife would buy her, to take her on daddy dates where I can spoil her and show her what a real man is like so when the day comes for her to look for a husband he will have a standard to live up to and, the ultimate desire of a dad and his daughter: walk her down the aisle. It is extremely painful to think that I won't get to experience these events with my daughter.

With this news, our hearts obviously sank. We have been graced with a great Pastor and team that allowed me to do whatever was necessary to make sure we got through this time. We took a couple days and went away, just Darianne and I, to spend time together and heal as much as possible. It was a wonderful time to be with my love as we talked, did some crafts, prayed, and enjoyed one another.

At this point, we had a D&C scheduled for the following Tuesday and so we thought we were in the clear until we had to deal with the finality of the procedure. However, Sunday night posed another night of unfortunate events. The previous few nights she had been experiencing some minimal cramping but after some time it subsided. On Sunday Night,, not only did they not subside, they grew worse than child birth. She started to have contractions 30 seconds apart at a pain level of 12/10 (her words, not mine). Nothing would make them get better: hot bath/shower, back rub, nothing. The pain was extremely horrible to watch as she screamed in agony every time a contraction would begin. I cannot imagine the pain (both physically and emotionally) Darianne endured. To go through this without any hope of a positive result is something I cannot even begin to imagine. Child birth pains is one thing because you know a baby will be coming shortly, but this pain seemed pointless, making it that much more difficult. My pain of watching this is nothing in comparison to what she actually went through. After 3 hours of watching and experiencing this, the doctor told us to go into the ER and they would perform the procedure that night. We spent the night at the hospital on Sunday night, and after experiencing the horrible pain for 8 hours she had her D&C, recuperated for a few hours and left the next morning at 6:30AM.

Even as I write this, it's hard to imagine people going through this dreadful situation, let alone going through it yourself. It's confusing, disheartening, faith-building, encouraging and horrific all at the same time. Looking back at the past 10 days is almost a surreal experience, as if I just experienced the most vivid nightmare imaginable. However, this was no nightmare to wake-up from, but one we will live with the rest of our lives.

In times like this (whether you've gone through something like this or any other trial), many questions can start going through your mind. I do not pretend to know much, but there are a few things I Know I Know.

Things I KNOW

My God is GOOD, so I know I'm not being punished.

So many people view hardships in life as a punishment from God for their wrongdoing. They believe that God is sitting up in heaven like Zeus or another mythological god waiting with a thunderbolt in hand to throw it at us whenever we do something wrong. The lie of Karma tells us what goes around comes around, but I believe that's a load of crap. My God is a GOOD GOD! I know this was not how He intended the world to be, but because of our sinfulness both by nature and by choice we live in the world where there is pain and suffering. But, in God's goodness, there will be a day where complete restoration will take place. How I long for the day where there will be no more weeping or pain or suffering for those in Christ. But in the meantime, I know my God is good. He does not wish these things upon us and is not punishing us for sin in our lives (as Karma and other religious systems teach), but God showed his ultimate goodness for me and us not in the painful circumstances we endure, but on the life, death, burial and ultimate resurrection of Jesus. The Bible uses a term, “Holy” for God, in which I see described as God always doing what is Good, Right, and Perfect. I don't always understand (see below), but I know that no matter what the God of the Bible is a GOOD God. What is done is good because He allowed it, even if it doesn't make sense to me. It is right, even if I don't see it as such.

My God is GREAT, and is still able to do the miraculous.

On Tuesday as we were waiting to get the final ultrasound, many people were praying for God's miraculous to work in our situation. Darianne and I started to think about the ways which our girl was going to be a miracle baby who's story would be told to impact many lives (even thinking to the point of naming her Miracle). But that didn't happen. It's very easy for us to think that God can't do those things because He didn't for us. To be honest, this is something that we struggle with, especially on the heels of some other family circumstances. But we know that God is ABLE to do what He chooses. I have a very high value in the sovereignty of God, that He is the one that ultimately choose what is Good, Right and Perfect, and He is directing all steps of life to His eventual culmination. I've heard it said that the sovereignty of God is a comfortable blanket where we can find rest. He is Holy, and because of this I can rest that He does what is good, right, and perfect.

My God is GLORIOUS, and deserves all praise.

I don't know how and I don't know when, but somehow this story will be used by God. I pray that through this difficult time, His glory is revealed to all.

My God is GRACIOUS.

Many wonder (as we do below) why these things happen. We can choose to focus on the immediate negative of their current situation and use this as ammunition to show God as vindictive. However, you know that I truly believe the Gospel of Grace that Jesus spoke of and lived out. I do not believe this situation is how God shows His love for me, but He did it when he had Jesus come to die in my place and for my sin while I was still sinful (Romans 5:8). That Perfect Jesus became the sacrifice for my sinfulness and that the righteousness of God was given to me because the One who knew no sin became Sin for me (2 Corinthians 5:21). He ultimate grace was shown to me not in these last 10 days, but when Jesus came to earth as a little baby, lived a perfect life and died a perfect death in my place for my sins. His grace was shown in His life, death, burial and resurrection FOR you and me.

My Wife is AMAZING.

Darianne is a trooper! One of the most difficult parts of this whole time is to see my wife physically and emotionally struggle. To sit there and watch as she endured pain, horrific pains was almost unbearable. But the strength and love that she has blows me away! In the midst of the struggle, she was even gracious towards others and looking out for them rather than just herself. She was not just concerned with us but everyone else. Her love for others blows me away and continually challenges and encourages me.

You CANNOT live without community.

I truly don't understand how people can live without some form of community in their lives. We have been extremely blessed with people in our lives that will literally do so much for us at a simple phone call. From our Pastors who gave us the time to heal and get better without any strings to our Family Community who cried with us, prayed with us and loved us as we tried to lead through crazy times. They were there to help as we took time away, help us heal, and allow us to talk it out. I know God created us for community, and it was in times like this that we truly experience it and understand more of why. I've found that God sometimes chooses to show His love to us through the love and care of others. From the amazing prayers and emotional support to the extremely practical support (watching kids, late night emergency phone calls, etc) it is unbelievably necessary to have people in your life that you can support (and whom you can support when they are in a time of need). 

Things I don't KNOW...

WHY?

This is quite possibly the most difficult and honest question people ask, “Why?” Why do bad things happen to Good people? Why did my wife, who is amazingly loving and caring towards others, go through such horrific pain? Why didn't God heal? Why, if God is so good, does He allow for such bad to happen in the world? The list is endless of the questions that can be asked in times like this. And to be completely honest, I don't know why. I've got ideas like the rest of us, but I don't think any of us truly know why. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” It's very easy to lean into our own understanding, but my understanding is so limited. My natural understanding tells me so much that would ultimately lead to not trusting God because the perspective of a finite human being cannot compare to the amazing viewpoint and sovereignty of an Almighty God. At the end of the day though, I have a choice, choose to trust my understanding or choose to trust the Lord. Does this mean we haven't asked why? No, we have wrestled with it for sure. Does it mean that everything has worked out exactly as we wanted? Obviously not. But it does mean that I CAN trust God in this time and, by doing so, my life will have meaning and this time will make sense eventually.

I'm not sure who you are and why you've chosen to read this far. Our story is one of the millions and millions of painful stories people face in life. You quite possibly have gone through this very story or something even more dreadful, for which I'm truly sorry. If anything I desire from this, is to see people draw closer to the loving heart of Jesus. Pains in life are not meant for you to push God away, but to draw closer to him. We have tried (definitely not perfectly) to do this. But by God's grace, we will be stronger because of this. James 1:2 tells us to be joyful in the midst of trials because they develop perseverance and Romans 5 goes further to say that we should rejoice in our sufferings because they will eventually produce character and hope. Let this be a time when you draw closer to the heart of the Father. My prayer is that this story will cause you hope. It has already caused healing in some lives, and I pray that it makes a greater impact to the Glory of God.

Charles Spurgeon on "Building the Church"

These are excerpts from Charles H. Spurgeon’s sermon entitled “Building the Church” (or “Additions to the Church”) concerning Acts 2 which he gave on April 5, 1874. I am indebted to CMA Resources (www.cmaresources.org) for the repost of this, and found it so good that I wanted to post it on here. Let it sink deep. 

I want you to notice this, that they were breaking bread from house to house, and ate their food with gladness and singleness of heart. They did not think that religion was meant only for Sundays, and for what men now-a-days call the House of God. Their own houses were houses of God, and their own meals were so mixed and mingled with the Lord’s Supper that to this day the most cautious student of the Bible cannot tell when they stopped eating their common meals, and when they began eating the Supper of the Lord. They elevated their meals into diets for worship: they so consecrated everything with prayer and praise that all around them was holiness to the Lord. I wish our houses were, in this way, dedicated to the Lord, so that we worshipped God all day long, and made our homes temples for the living God…

Does God need a house? He who made the heavens and the earth, does he dwell in temples made with hands? What crass ignorance this is! No house beneath the sky is more holy than the place where a Christian lives, and eats, and drinks, and sleeps, and praises the Lord in all that he does, and there is no worship more heavenly than that which is presented by holy families, devoted to the fear of the Lord.

To sacrifice home worship to public worship is a most evil course of action. Morning and evening devotion in a little home is infinitely more pleasing in the sight of God than all the cathedral pomp which delights the carnal eye and ear. Every truly Christian household is a church, and as such it is competent for the discharge of any function of divine worship, whatever it may be. Are we not all priests? Why do we need to call in others to make devotion a performance? Let every man be a priest in his own house. Are you not all kings if you love the Lord? Then make your houses palaces of joy and temples of holiness. One reason why the early church had such a blessing was because her members had such homes. When we are like them we will have added to the church those who were being saved.

---

Thanks to Alan Knox who found and accentuated this passage on his blog here

Failure at the Forefront

I recently came out of a season where it felt as if anything I touched was failing. It didn't matter what it was, how hard I tried or prayed, it seemed as if failure had a strong grip on all in my control. Although these seasons can be VERY annoying, in the end they can be the best thing at the right time for Jesus to really refine who we are, how we work and our role in His greater mission.  Specifically, there were three things that really stood out in this season:

1) I Am Human
I know for many of you (especially my wife) this is an obvious statement, but we can start to believe and rely on our own giftings that we practically live as though we don't need God in the equation. As Craig Groeschel calls it, we are "Christian Atheists," believing God exits but acting like he doesn't. For me, this was a time God used to remind me that it's not based on my ability or how hard/much I work, but it is dependent on Him; He is truly the one who decides the outcome.

2) I Need Jesus Desperately
Another "duh" statement for many, but something I continually need to be reminded. I think I can do something Jesus couldn't do: Work on my Own. He says it this way in John 5:19-20--"So Jesus said to them, Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise." This is a statement that I could truly contemplate for ages. Jesus, the fullness of God made flesh, could only do what He saw the Father doing and then joined Him in it. Yet, I believe I can go and do what I set my mind out to do as long as I work hard. Purely ridiculous! I will never undervalue hard work, but at the end of the day it's not about my hard work, it's about His Work in and through me. I will never accomplish much in life apart from what Jesus has assigned for me, entrusted to me, and empowered me to accomplish.

3) I Can't Give Up
It is in times of failures that I believe potential is fulfilled. This is the testing period that I believe many people decide it is better and easier to quit then to persevere, and once this decision is made, their direction will never lead them to the place they long to go. The temptation is strong to not persevere through the hard time in the midst of the daily struggles, but at the end of the day what we are trying to accomplish is so much more important. We have been given the Message of Reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-21), and to give up sharing this Good News because of a few trip ups is not worth it. Can Jesus do it without me? Of Course! But has He given each of us a specific role to play that will be a detriment to the specific mission if we don't accomplish? Absolutely. The greater goal is so much more important, and to give up would be foolish.

The Unseen of a New Direction....

Somethings have really been hitting me like a ton of bricks recently. Much of it is extremely hard to put into words as it is something deep within. However, certain glimpses of  light and concrete ideas peak their head from time to time (and for someone like me, that is hopeful).

One of the things that really hit me today was the concept that when you go a new direction in your life you will not only experience the greatness of the new direction but also the unseen. Like anyone taking a journey to a new place, there will be both sights that absolutely amaze you and there are potentially potholes that you never see coming when you make the decision to change directions. You truly never know what the next part will bring, and for a planner like me that can be both exhilarating and exhausting! No One thought or concept is ever in complete isolation from future thoughts that you never thought could happen.

I speak this in the midst of some amazingly awesome opportunities in my life. God has given me an awesome opportunity to have influence a local body that I am truly humbled and honored by. Where this will lead only Jesus knows, but that makes it even more exciting of a trip.

Don't take The Present for Granted

I've taken a pretty extensive break from blogging because our Family was in the middle of a pretty major move. In the midst of the move, I was sick for about a month and during that same week we had our Youth Winter Camp! Let's just say February and March have been NUTS!!!

I've come out of this time with a very big lesson that I've learned in the past but I guess I just keep needing to be reminded of it. Over the past year, my wife and I have been in the process of selling our home. This was not just any home to us, this was the home that my wife grew up in (we purchased it from her parents). It was at this home that we had our first kiss, I proposed to her in this home, and we had our first child at this home. This is to not even mention all the memories her family has from the 20 years previous to us owning it!

But I was so consumed with just trying to move on. With the way the market is, it took us quite a bit of time to actually close, and with MUCH frustration at that! But the whole time I just kept thinking about the future: our new house, the mission Jesus was going to send us there, etc. I was so focused on the next step and season of our lives that I completely ignored the greatness of what we currently had.

The final night we had the home, I did the final pieces of cleaning up and all of a sudden it hit me. All of a sudden all that time felt like a waste, and it brought me to tears. I missed out on some amazing opportunities because I didn't realize the present was just as significant as the future! I wanted that next step SO Bad, but it cause to me completely neglect and be thankful for what I had.

Don't take the present for granted. It's all you got. The next season will come in God's timing, so take a look around where you are now and be thankful. Live it to the max, enjoy the ride, and allow God to do in and through you NOW what He wants. He's got it covered, so let Him worry about the next step.

Attractional Questions: Introduction

Over my next few posts, I am going to be taking some time to look through the ideas of Attractional Ministry. I'm thankful that the conversation in Missiology has changed recently from "Missional VS. Attractional" to "Missional AND Attractional" because it has built a bridge between the camps so they are no longer opposed to each other (We are ALL the Church, regardless of ministry philosophy). However, I want to look at the deeper issues of Attractional life. I do not believe it's a question of IF we are attracting people, but WHO are we attracting, TO what, WITH what, and FOR what? We will look at these over the next few posts.

Book Review: Right Here, Right Now by Alan Hirsch and Lance Ford

As one who is aspiring to be a Missional Leader, I consistently am drawn to any and all books discussing the ideas of the mission of God and how He develops His missional people (the church). I am a huge fan of Alan Hirsch (Forgotten Ways is one of my most influential books), so I immediately picked up this book.

The intention of this book is to equip the everyday person to live a life as God's Missionaries in the world they are sent. The Subtitle (Everyday Mission for Everyday People) greatly summarizes this concept. This book (co authored by Hirsch and Lance Ford), was written in a unique fashion. Hirsch, who tends to be very technical in his writing, lays the foundation for a missional people while Ford does much of the application to Hirsch's theoretical snidbits. I find this to be very nice for the average reader. While I enjoy the thick language of some of Hirsch's previous works, this has much more of an approachable sense that the every-day Christian can understand the concepts.

They take quite a bit of time throughout the book to discuss reasons why many people are not living missional lifestyles, specifically Consumerism. Hirsch has stated repeatedly elsewhere that he believes the greatest threat to the Christian Missional lifestyle is not paganism but Consumerism. They do an awesome job of debunking the myths of Consumerism and call each of us to reorient our whole lives, including our finances and lifestyle, around Mission.

To go along with the book, they have put together a website (http://www.righthererightnowbook.com/) filled with additional resources to help engage the reader in missional living. They have videos to go along with each chapter as well as discussion questions that you can go through with others to challenge one another. Although I did use them too much in my reading, these can me exteremly helpful to take the reading to another level.

Filled with stories and examples of how normal people are fulfilling an extraordinary calling, this is a great read for all believers to truly understand their standing and calling as Missionaries. I highly reccomend it. A-

Pick up the Book HERE!

Barna Research Response #6: Christian Influence in Culture

This last piece of research posted by Barna is the most heartbreaking to me. Scripture clearly says that you will tell a tree by the Fruit it produces, and the fruit blossoming on the limbs of Modern Christianity is causing no one to have a desire to eat from its tree.

The question first must be asked: What is the relationship between Christians and Culture supposed to look like? Some contend that because America is a "Christian Nation," we are to be the moral authority of society. We are to stand as judges on what is right and wrong with society and make sure than anyone not living within that frame of lifestyle should be shunned. Others take another approach along the same lines. They see that all things that culture produces (movies, art, music, etc) and inherently evil and therefore remove themselves from Culture. Some from this camp then go and create a sub-culture within culture and create art that is "counter-cultural" and more fitting to their standers of morality. This is where we get Christian Music and Christian Movies: a 'healthy' alternative that is 'relevant' to society yet completely removed from culture. With both of these viewpoints, Christians are either above culture looking down on it or have their backs turned as they run as far away as possible to maintain their "holiness" and "purity."

However, when we look in John 17, we find a different aspect of how we are to relate to culture. Rather than oppose or remove ourselves from it, we are to actualy be IN it to RESTORE it. As Jesus is praying for His disciples, he says the famous line that we all know: In the World but not Of the World. In vs. 15 he says something extremely powerful that will give us out idea of what it means to be a Christian in regards to culture: "My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one." As he says that we are not of the world, He makes a definitive statement that we are to be in the world with all it's sinfulness and brokeness. As we are in the world, we are protected from the evil one (vs. 15) and it is within the context of being within culture that we are sanctified by God's word (vs. 17). It is to the world that He sends us as His Missionaries to RESTORE all creation back to His original intent.

We must reclaim this posture in response to culture if we are to make any impact. Rather than above looking down on others, or running away from in order to "protect outselves," we need to be among the very people Jesus was among and seek the restoration of all of society. Rather than disregard anything that does not have the label "Christian," we should seek to understand our society so we can be better Missionaries in this fallen world. Am I saying Christian Music is bad? Absolutely not. But I am saying that we need to be able to understand our culture in order to reach our culture.

Lastly, Barna's research says something very interesting: "The most influential aspect of Christianity in America is how believers do--or do not--implement their faith in public and private." It is not the public portrayal of Christianity from the pulpit that is going to make the difference, it's going to be the daily living of EACH Christian that is completely transformed by the Gospel and in turn makes a impact in their world. People are watching, and it's time to show them the true love of Christ as we live our daily lives among all people. It is then that we will make a difference. And I'm glad to say that this generation will make that difference!

Barna Response #5: Post-Modernity Tolerance Vs. Christian Ideals....

According to Barna's Research, the Postmodern insistence on Tolerance is winning over the Christian Church. President of the Barna Research Group, David Kinnaman, wrote a book with Gabe Lyons called UnChristian (Amazon Link), one of the top items non-Christians have against Christians is that they are judgmental. Many know what Christians are against (Gay Marriage, Abortion, etc) rather than what we are for (Social Restoration, Wholeness of People, Christ Will on earth, etc). While I do believe the Bible speaks very strongly about the views of which Christians are against, I believe we in the church have taken the wrong stance as to how we communicate this and the importance of such issues in the.

For the previous centuries, the church was as the center of society. All news, life, events happened within the framework of Judeo-Christan Values. It was at this point that the Church was in "power" and could communicate and dictate what society should be for or against. In recent decades, the church is pushed farther and farther to the fringes of society. I just tell some people that I am an Evangelical Christian and they look at me as an ignorant person. You should try it some time : )  We are no longer in the mainstream of society and no longer have the right or power to dictate what should and should not be, even if Scripture is clear on the fulfilled life we are called to live is found in Christ-Centered Kingdom living. What what stance are we to take?

We must stop trying to force people to act within our moral framework (although it is the healthiest) because that just produces moralism. We must accept the fact that we are no longer the voices of morality. We must stop trying to "protect" our view, but rather take the stance of missionaries of the Kingdom of God for King Jesus. We are to be a SIGN of what His Kingdom looks like (generosity, love, compassion, justice, etc) and in doing so we will gain the respect of people and have an opportunity to share Jesus (1 Peter 3:15). Do I believe in Right and Wrong? Absolutely! But our posture as missionaries to first show Jesus' love (as he did with the women accused of Adultery in John 8) and then EARN the right to speak the Truth.

Barna Research Response #4: Community Action Increase

Finally something positive! This is an aspect of the mega-themes that I find to be something we can be excited about the future. At first glance it is quite puzzling how of the 6 megathemes, two of them seem to be polar opposites (#2--Less outreach oriented vs #4 more interest in community action), but after a closer look one is about action and the other is interest. Although we may have an INTEREST in participating in community action, our ACTIONS show that we are more ingrown and less outreach-oriented. However, I believe if we capitilize on this interest with gospel-motivation and intentionality, we can have staying power.

Many people may ask the question, "Why worry about community action? Shouldn't our focus be on getting people saved?" The salvation of those within our spheres of influence should be of utmost importance, but I believe the action we put to our faith can be a sign to the Gospel. At an 30,000 foot view of the Gospel, you can see that the Gospel story has four parts: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration. Most of the time we focus on the first three portions and completely forget that within the Gospel is the aspect of God's nature to restore His beloved creation to it's original state. You find this in the life of Jesus as He goes about healing. These healings are a sign of His Future Restored Kingdom where there will be no tears, no pain or suffering (See Revelation 21) and creation will no longer be in birthpains (Romans 8:18-22). We don't do community restoration because it's only good for the here and now, we do it because it is a sign of God's coming and restoring all things to Himself.

Barna sites concern that this could have little staying power if only done our of a motivation to do good works. I completely agree. Our MOTIVATION behind doing this is as important as to what we are doing. If we do community action because it's cool, it won't be cool one day and it will all stop. If we do it becuase it is a religious action to earn God's favor, it won't last because we need to understand that we already have God's favor. This must be done because the GOSPEL DEMANDS IT! We have a Gospel-Motivation in restoring all things, including our neighbors foriegn and domestic as well as the physical aspects of our fallen world. Our motivation is based in the Gospel and, empowered by the Holy Spirit, we will make a difference in this world as a sign of what God will do for His people.

Here are a few sites of organizations that are trying to make a difference in the world. This list is not nearly exhaustive, but if interested you can take a look. Please leave Comments of other organizations that you are aware of so we can share ideas of how we can serve.

World Vision (http://www.worldvision.org/)
Charity Water (http://www.charitywater.org/)
Mission of Mercy (http://www.missionofmercy.org/)
Awakened Love Ministries (My Friend David Dodd)

Barna Research Response #3: Spiritual Principles Vs. Pragmatic Solutions

"3. Growing numbers of people are less interested in spiritual principles and more desirious of learning pragmatic solutions for life". (To read full article, click HERE)

I find it difficult to pinpoint the source of this because I am unsure if it is the chicken that came first or the egg. According to Barna, faith is significant to people, but they find it taking a back seat to the more practical issues of life (job, education, friednships, etc). Barna attributes this to the fast paced lifestyle that we find ourselves living in today where there is no time for spiritual disciplines like Silence, Solitude, Meditation, etc. Although I heavily agree with Barna that this fast paced life, although it has it's benefits, has done a great deal of harm to the Spiritual Well-being of the Church, I do not see this to be the root cause of seeking solutions over principles.

I believe that everything we do should and does find its root in the character of God. I believe our life and our understanding of Scripture goes through four theological identity guidepoints: 1) Who God Is; 2)What God has done (through the Person and Work of Jesus); 3) Who We Are (In Christ); and 4) What we are to do. The Church finds herself focusing so much on point 4 that we forget that what we are to do is determined by Who We are In Christ. Who we are in Christ is determined by what God has done through the person and work of Jesus, and this in turn is determined by Who God is. EVERYTHING in life can go through this (for example, We are to love each other because we are loved by God as his family, which was determined by Jesus' work on the cross in our place. Jesus went to the cross because of God's love for his children, so our love for each other goes back to God's love for the world).

This is where the chicken and the egg is difficult to determine. You scan through the bookshelves of many Christian bookstores and you find many, if not the majority, of books focused on What we are to do (Your Best Life Now, etc.). Pastors and Teachers focus on the practical so much that I'm not sure if they are creating the culture that desires the practical or if they are writing because the practical is so desired among the people. I am not saying the need for practical Biblical application is wrong, but I believe we need to put it back in it's proper perspective. Are the books creating the desire, or is the desire creating the books?  Either way, if we continue to focus on the practical of life rather than bring our people to gaze at the wonderful face of Jesus, we will continue to find ourselves fighting this dillema. Let us who create the culture start focusing on the greatness of Who God is and What He Has Done through Jesus on the Cross! This will turn God's people lose!

Barna Research Response #2: Inward Focused

According to Barna's research, "Christians are becoming more spiritually isolated from non-Christians than was true a decade ago." With all the technological advances and even with the hightened Missional talk within the Christian world, we still find most Christians not only isolated but not longing to display and declare the Gospel to the unbelieving world. I believe this is a theological, philosophical and practical issue.

Theologically: The Sent People of God
If you were to go up to someone at a church gathering on Sunday and ask them if they knew a Missionary, they may say they know someone in Africa or have paid to support someone in the 10/40 window, but I highly doubt that many of them would recognize themselves as the missionary. We have understood missionaries to be those that go oversees (which is absolutely true and necessary) but we have lost the face that ALL Christians are missionaries sent into the culture to show the Gospel in their lifestyle and share the Gospel with their words. In John 20:21 the resurrected Jesus comes to His disciples and says, "As the Father has sent me, so I send you," (emphasis added). He breathes on them the Holy Spirit, and commisions them to go into the world. Many people think that this is just for the professionals, but this is far from the truth. To be honest, I sometimes wish I was not in vocational ministry because it would be so much easier to connect with those who don't know Jesus on a daily basis! The "ordinary" Christian needs to realize that they, just like the person in Africa, is sent BY GOD to seek and share with those in their lives.

Philosophically: Event-Driven Ministry
I believe the way in which we have lived life as the church has led us to this current predicament. We have viewed "church" as an event rather than as a people. It is that thing that happens on Sunday mornings at that specific building rather than the people of God as a family on mission together. Because we see everything through the lens of these events, we try to do everything we can to get as many people there as possible. These events have become extremely time consuming for people because if this is "church" then they need to be there at all tomes, which completely removes them from the lives of their non-Christian friends. It is no wonder that within 3-5 years new Christians lose any sort of meaningful or significant relationship with their friends that don't know Christ. We have completely removed the missionaries from the mission field! It is at these events where our friends can get saved. I once had a conversation with someone about one of their friends who didn't know Jesus and they were mentioning how they really wanted to get them to "church" because then the friend could hear about Jesus and get saved. In response I asked, "Why can't you tell your friend about Jesus?" only to receive a look of complete surprise as if that was a completely foreign idea. I don't believe this to be the intention of our current paradigm, but the unintended consequences are becoming very strong, as proven in Barna's research.

Practically: Feeding the Flock vs. Equipping the Saints

A look at the five fold ministry in Ephesians 4:11-17 shows us that the role of the leadership is to equip Gods people for works of service. These 5 roles include Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor and Teacher. Our current model is extremely heavy with the Pastor/teacher and missing the apostolic figure to go into new territories with new concepts for the Gospel and His kingdom. With the heavy focus on feeding the flock, peoples needs are being met but not being challenged and equipped to live life on mission together. We need to see our role as not just feeding (which is important) but primarily equipping so that they can feed themselves and each other as they live life on mission together.

Barna Research Response #1: Theological Literacy of Christians

1. The Christian Church is becoming less theologically literate

The first Mega-Theme sited in the research is unfortunately not that surprising but possibly the most alarming. To speak to someone in a typical church gathering on Sunday and you will find this to be the case. The scary part is the trend: this is declining in literacy, causing the next generation, if trends continue, to be even less theological literate than today. But what has gotten us to this point?

I must state that I do not believe this to be a flaw in intentions. I do believe the previous generation of church leaders have desired their people to understand texts of Scripture and be able to apply it to their lives. But I believe the reason for our current state is three fold:

1) We teach the Head, not the Heart

Stemming from the Enlightenment was the concept that to attain the knowledge of something cognitively would result in changing of habits. The idea then leads to classroom settings where students are taught information about a subject rather than the apprenticeship model of previous generations. The assumption is made that when someone knows, they automatically do. The church's discipleship structure has looked like this for the previous few generations (Sunday School, Seminars, Classes, etc). However, this simply doesn't turn into action, and Scripture is best understood within a framework of action. 

2) We focus on the How, not the why

As a pastor who speaks on a weekly basis, I have always found the statistic that within 72 hours of your message only about 10% of what you said is remembered. So much time and energy is put into this 30-45 minutes, yet it yields unfruitful results. During this time, you find many people finding exactly three points within a portion of Scripture (see, I even did it within this blog!). And typically these three points all have to do with how I am to act. Don't hear me wrong, I believe very strongly that what we believe will result in life change and action, however I see that the focus of our preaching/teaching has been how we are supposed to act (leaning towards Moralism) rather than Who God Is and how that effect us. It's as if unintentionally we have created a religious system that once you do 1-2-3 you will have attained perfection in that compartmentalized area and you can move on to the next, resulting in a people that is so focused on HOW to Act rather than WHY we act. 

Recently I have been taught a concept that has transformed how I look at Scripture application. It is a four-fold approach: Who God Is, What God does (through person and work of Jesus), Who I Am (in Christ) and How I am to act. The focus of this is not action, but identity. God does not act outside of who he is (put another way, Who God is Determines How God Acts), and the same is true of us (Who I am In Christ determines how I am to Act). Rather than focusing on the why, I am now focusing on WHO God is and Who I am in Christ. Once someone grasps that this is who they are rather than this is how they are supposed to act, actions will be a natural outgrowth. This is the WHY. 

3) We still act within the Modern Paradigm 

Along with the first idea of teaching the head goes the concept of teaching points rather than story. Caesar Kalinowski of Soma Communities does an amazing job of explaining this in the video posted HERE . To summarize if you don't have time, most of what we learn is based off of Stories (think of your family heritage, how you share a vacation). In these situations, you don't take out an outline and share the three greatest things, but you tell stories and the stories are the connections that help you understand your frame of reference. If you look at Scripture, the VAST majority is in Story (Pentateuch, Historical Books, some of the Poetic books, Prophetic Books, and Gospels). We have gone away from this and relied on teaching Scripture primarily systematically. Again, there is nothing wrong with doing this, but if it is our primary focus, then we have misplaced priorities. Scripture is best understood within the the Greater Story frame of reference. If you have not seen this already, watch this YouTube Video of a 11 year old sharing how Jesus is in all of Scripture, and ALL of it points towards HIM. This greater story of Scripture is the Supremacy and Sovereignty of Jesus, and seeing it with this lens will result in much more theological understanding. 

Response to Barna Research

Over the next few posts, I am going to look through the startling Barna research(to see the full article, click HERE) posted recently and present what I see as both the deeper issues and resolutions. I do not see this as something that can be cured over night. There are deeper systemic and philosophical issues that have brought us to where we are, and those must be addressed. 

Here are the 6 Megathemes from their 2010 Research. 
1. The Christian Church is becoming less theologically literate.
2. Christians are becoming more ingrown and less outreach-oriented.
3. Growing numbers of people are less interested in spiritual principles and more desirous of learning pragmatic solutions for life.
4. Among Christians, interest in participating in community action is escalating.
5. The postmodern insistence on tolerance is winning over the Christian Church.
6. The influence of Christianity on culture and individual lives is largely invisible.

2010 Books of the Year

These are my top read books of 2010. Note that not all of these books were published in 2010, but I came across them and were my favorites of the year.

Jesus Manifesto by Leonard Sweet & Frank Viola
This is my book of the year. In the midst of all the conversation in our current context, it is so easy to lose sight of the ultimate goal for which we are created. It is not about movements or church planting (although both are EXTREMELY important), but at the end of the day it is all about Jesus! And this book brings that focus back in an amazing way. This was one of those books where I literally wanted to continue to highlight as there are amazing topics and statements made throughout. The authors have an amazing way of saying something in an artful way that captivates the reader. As they point us back to Jesus, they continually bring up practical lessons well fitting for our context, but the focus on on Who Jesus IS and What he is Doing through us. I will highly recommend this book to anyone, whether newly believing in Jesus or someone who has walked with Him their whole life. There will be new insights for all on the supremacy and beauty of Jesus. This book is all about Jesus, and it makes you want to draw closer to Him. Utterly Amazing!

The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller
Author Timothy Keller does an amazing job breaking down the fullness of the Gospel and how is teaches that not only to sinners need to repent of their sin, but religious people need to repent of their religion. Based of the Parable of the Two Lost Sons in Luke 15, Keller draws out the intentions of the reader to show that many (myself included) are just as lost at times then those that are far from God because we don't seek God with the intention of getting Him but getting his stuff. I did a series on this book for my youth and this was one of those series that truly changed me. A must read!


Total Church by Steve Timmis & Tim Chester
This was my paradigm shift book of the year. The authors take a practical look at all area of church life (ranging from Evangelism to Pastoral Care) and argues very well that all of them need to be focused on the Gospel and Community. To take one of these out of the equation is to miss the whole. This book truly played an impact in shiny the vision God is placing in my heart and I am grateful for this work!

Exponential by Dave & Jon Ferguson 
This is my church leadership practice book of the year. Not only are the insights of the book great, it is extremely practical. It not only shows you the meat, it tells you how to cook and eat it. The leadership pipeline in the book is AWESOME and will truly help raise up future leaders. I love that they are not just helping to build a church, but launch a movement that is way beyond you. A GREAT read!

Movements that Change the World by Steve Addison
Author Steve Addison does a remarkable job looking at church history and noting common threads through each (White Hot Faith, Commitment to a Cause, Contagious Relationships, Rapid Mobilization, and Adaptive Methods). It is great for students of history but more importantly for those (like myself) who are interested in launching a movement of the Gospel.

Honorable Mentions
Church 3.0 by Neil Cole
Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

2010 Influencers From a Distance...

To continue my post from yesterday, here is my list of those who influenced me, even if I have never met them or only have a few times. This list will seem to place me in the Reformed camp, but they are the members of the Body who are living mission extremely well and have been raised up by God to have a major impact.

Jeff Vanderstelt & the Soma Communities Team
I was first introduced to Soma in November of 2009 at CalibrateNW. I sat listening to what Jeff was saying and for the first time all the seemingly abstract ideas and concepts that I believed were put together perfectly for me to understand. That following month God really started to implant in me the vision he had for my life, and He continually brought me back to what Soma was doing. I felt the neede to spend a season digging deep into what they were doing, and I have not been disappointed. Their generosity is amazing (they posted EVERYTHING online for free), their depth is unmatched (not only is it philosophically rich but even more theologically great), and their impact is great. My understanding of who I am in the Gospel as a Family Member of God, missionary, servant and disciple has revolutionized how I live my day to day life. My understanding of Who God is and how it determined what God did through Christ and Who I am (In Christ) will determine What I am to do has helped more more than I can say. Their influence will truly play a major role in my life in the years to come, and I am thankful to God for them! www.somacommunities.com

Mark Driscoll
Although he can be quite the polarizing figure, he has played a great role in my ministry. A few of his talks have really done a great deal in my life personally: Ministry, Marriage and Mistakes; Marriage and Men; and Dealing with Positives and Negatives (his 40 point message in dealing with people). He has the ability to bridge the theologically deep with the practical that I admire.

Francis Chan
I've had the opportunity to read his books and listen to a few of his messages this year, but the example he has played as to what it means to be willing to sacrifice everything for what God is calling someone to do is amazing.

Steven Furtick
His Audacious faith and belief that God will use him to do great things in the world is inspiring. As one who one day desires to plant a missional network, his life and faith is an inspiration to us young guys. His Sun Stand Still is definitely worth the buy and read!

Neil Cole
I have been truly challenged by his outside the box thinking. His books Church 3.0 and Organic Church are amazingly challenging and truly refreshing (although they can tend to sound harsh). I have caught the 10:02 virus. At 10:02am, I pray Luke 10:2b to remind myself that I am on the mission field and that I need to pray to the Lord of the Harvest to send more workers into the field.

Twitter Honorable Mentions: Tullian Tchividjian & Rick Warren
Literally every time I read a tweet from Pastor Tullian I am floored. I am drawn to the Gospel more and more by every deep thought. www.twitter.com/pastortullian

Rick Warren combines both wisdom from his years of experience and personal thoughts that I enjoy. definitely worth a follow! www.twitter.com/RickWarren